Asking Effective Questions in Life As Well As Writing.
by Barbara Messinger
Most of my life I was interested in science and became an RN. I had no real desire to write but that changed when I took a job in pediatric home care and saw firsthand the joy books brought to my patient’s limited world. I was taken in by children’s literature in a big way and gained a strong desire to write picture books (and eventually chapter books), I began learning the craft of writing. And for the first few years I experienced all the frustrations that can go along with the writing process.
One of the key things writers learn along the way is interviewing your main character even if you don’t use the information in your book. It speaks to the importance of questioning. So if we are the main character in our own lives how do we question ourselves. I looked back at the first part of my writing journey and the questions I asked myself. I realized plenty of them were more disempowering than empowering. For example, Why aren’t I further along in this process? Why am I not getting this?
In nurse’s training there was a brief session on Therapeutic Communication. We learned not to ask the patient ‘why’ questions. Why questions put people on the defensive. When we ask ourselves those kind of questions we keep ourselves stuck where we are.
So I became more conscious and deliberate about asking myself empowering questions. (Which usually begin with how or what) My all time favorite question:
How can I let go of my limited thinking? (about anything really)
How can I let go of my limited thinking about my writing?
How can I let go of my limited thinking about the publication industry?
Or instead of why can’t I seem to get this, I started asking myself:
What is the nature of showing rather than telling?
What is the nature of an emotionally engaging character? A compelling character?
There are an infinite number of possible answers and information that can come to you when you inquire in a way that leaves your subconscious mind wide open to answers.
We live in a fast pace culture that expects answers immediately and I’m not promising you’ll get published any faster if you practice asking empowering questions. I’m still working toward publication. But I can promise it will be a more enriching experience that expands your mind rather than contracts it. Try making up your own empowering questions. Maybe you’ll be surprised by some of the answers you get.
Barbara Messinger transitioned from a nursing career to children’s writing after moving into pediatric nursing care. She saw firsthand the positive effects reading books aloud had on her patients. She enjoys her membership and camaraderie of the SCBWI-NJ. A lifelong shore resident you’ll most likely find her swimming, scuba diving, biking, practicing yoga and, yes, writing somewhere near a beach.